"The Swears"

On Wednesday night my co-workers and my roommates finally met! It was of course the opera that brought us together. On our way home my roommate was telling my co-workers about my one time saying "the swears" (I thought it would be funny and said "what the H." It was very funny). After hearing the story, my co-workers were surprised to learn that saying that was considered swearing!

Thursday my co-worker decided to tell everyone else my swearing story and they all laughed a lot. I coined the term "the swears" and that made them laugh even more!

Their concern with my prudish language is that they swear in court EVERY DAY and they do not know how I avoid it. It was prophesied that I would soon have a threats trial where the threat involved "the swears" and I would be doomed.

Yesterday it happened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I luckily avoided saying the swears by just saying "F". The cops, defendant, defense counsel, and even the judge did however say the swears during the trial! I told my co-workers that my response to the judge was "do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"*

Just another way that I am revolutionizing the DC Judicial System.

*i did not of course actually say that to the judge, but I think my co-workers believed me...