For me, the ending is always everything. With books and movies I can love the whole thing, but if there is an insufficient ending I will hate it. Likewise, if I only consider the book okay but the ending is remarkable, and so greatly causes me to think or wraps things up or does something for the novel, then I will love it unceasingly.
Perhaps this is why I have so pondered what I should write today. You see, this is the end. Today is my last day of work; tomorrow my mother arrives and in a week I return to the states. Along with my departure from Australia, this is also likely the end of my blog – and though I know this to be inconsequential to anyone but myself, let me remind you that this is indeed my blog, and were this ending to leave something to be wanted, I would be forced to revise it upon my return to Texas and that is not something I would feel comfortable doing.
Before I begin the end, let me share some of my plans, both to satisfy your curiosity and to schedule in when you can next see me. I leave my apartment in Southport at 7 a.m. on Wednesday August 2nd and arrive at the Reagan airport in D.C. at 10 p.m. on that same day. With the time change, it will be a 29 hour trip, and I will be delighted to see my dear friends Chris and Becky Wickstrom at the airport! I will spend a week in D.C., seeing friends and doing some law school job stuff for next summer. From there, I fly home to Austin to spend a week and a half with my family and have big plans of getting tan so I can trick everyone into thinking I actually got more than a farmer’s tan during my summer in paradise. On August 20th, I return to Utah where I will spend a few days unpacking and hopefully nonstop girl talking before I assist with the first year orientation and have some training to be a T.A. for next year. And on August 28th, the madness that I call all-things-law-school begins. I couldn’t be more excited.
To end this blog, or at least to end my experiences in Australia, I contemplated giving lists or explaining the things I had learned or just saying “bye” and letting that be it – but none of them felt right. And so, having decided that stories are always superior to lists I shall share some stories – or more specifically – referring to the quote “when you avoid difficult things, great things avoid you”, I will share what great things I might have avoided.
Thursday, May 11th
On my way to lunch, one of my co-workers came and found me and invited me to eat lunch with him and a few others. I then ate lunch with them everyday the entire summer, became friends with them all, and even gave one of them a Book of Mormon.
Sunday, May 14th
On my way to church I listened to a talk on my iPod. The talk was a BYU-Hawaii devotional given by my Uncle Jim about new beginnings. He discussed, or at least I gained from it, how we must have courage to do God’s will for us and to become what He needs us to become to fulfill our divine purposes here. At church that day we sang the hymn Reverently and Meekly Now, and I was struck by the line: “In the solemn faith of prayer cast upon me all thy care/ And my Spirit’s grace shall be like a fountain unto thee.” I daresay the line from that hymn is the one thing I have most learned from my time here, and the reason I am most grateful I came.
Saturday, May 20th
I went to Australia Zoo. Though going to the zoo alone might initially sound odd, I LOVED it. I loved that I could spend lots of times at the camels and no time at the dingos if I wanted. That it ended up taking six hours for me to get home, and I didn’t really care and even better wasn’t stressed about someone else being annoyed by it because I was there alone. At the zoo I realized that there was so much I wanted to see and do while I was here, that time was going to fly by, and that if I wanted to enjoy the summer and do everything I wanted to, I had to stop thinking about being lonely or bored and get to work! There was too much to do.
Thursday, June 8th
My first visitor arrived. Although my voice did start going out after talking with her for an hour (she commented on how I wasn’t used to talking), it was okay. In fact, it was great. I had been so worried about being socially awkward after a month of solitude.
Friday, June 9th
This weekend I drove around Australia. I learned that, with a map, I could do anything! This summer I was also struck by how oddly obsessed I am with maps. An embarrassing example: on my thus mentioned 6-hour trip home from the zoo, I made certain on one leg of the train ride to sit across from the train route map that was posted inside. For an hour I studied it, for no reason at all. I just found it interesting.
Sunday, June 11th
I dropped my visitor off at the airport, and was instantly saddened. I realized that for a month I had been bored. Unfortunately, I have also come to the dreadful realization that being an extrovert doesn’t just mean you are friendly – it means that you need other people to give you energy! What a bother. For me, I get antsy if I just sit around reading for hours on end, but when I sit in a room reading and also have a friend in the room with me reading, I am relaxed and enjoy it more. Why? It’s so weird. But yes – realized I was bored and BLESS the fact that I had a steady stream of visitors the rest of the summer or I would have gone mental. And I’m not even kidding.
Thursday, June 29th
I went to the public library after work to work on some job applications for next summer. I have always had the mentality that I don’t want to work for a law firm – kind of making my working for a law firm here a bit silly. So I am researching public interest and gov’t positions in D.C. and just don’t feel good about any of it. I’m not seeing anything that appeals to me. Then I looked more closely at some law firms and noticed that they have a lot of part-time employees. This was followed by a loud “ding” in my head, wherein I realized I could make as much money working part time for a firm as I could working full-time for a public interest group. So, if in some future event I get to give away my future husband gift and have kids and have to work for some horrid reason (I have also learned this summer I don’t really like working – give me school or nothing!) then I could work part-time. Brilliant. Or, I could just work full-time for a law firm for the rest of my life and be rich! I’ve always dreamed of having a swimming pool shaped like a dollar bill sign.
Saturday, July 1st
Saw Circus Oz in Melbourne. In itself, a life changing event. Or at least for the rest of my life I will laugh when I think of it and how I went alone.
Saturday, July 15th
I bought a future husband gift in New Zealand. Why is this so significant? It symbolizes one of the greatest things that I have realized just in the past few days. For some reason in my life I have felt this need to appear “cool” to people or something, and not only is it silly, it doesn’t work! My friend Lane has known me since 1999 and he told me he always knew I was a nerd! Ha – I’ve fooled no one! So, my buying the present and not being ashamed because “it was lame” symbolizes my acceptance of who I really am. I daresay having a poetry contest on my blog also indicated that. And the fact that I have analyzed any of this shows you that I have a degree in Psychology.
Thursday, July 20th
I feel totally filled with happiness. I wish I could explain it more. It is all due to my greater understanding as I read 3 Nephi 13:25-34. Just after I typed that I reread it and again felt that consuming joy. v. 32: “For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.” wow. Before I came here I didn’t want to come. Even to the point that when my brother dropped me off at the airport my parting words were “I don’t want to go” and his to me were “yes you do”. I had many fears and doubts about coming and it didn’t make sense. But my outlook has since changed and I am no longer stressed about what will happen with my life or what I will do or not do. It will be taken care of. God is the gardener! Nothing could bring me more joy.
Sunday, July 23rd
Again, struck by the words of a hymn. This time it is Improve the Shining Moments: “Improve the shining moments; don’t let them pass you by/Work while the sun is radiant; Work, for the night draws nigh/We cannot bid the sunbeams to lengthen out their stay/nor can we ask the shadow to ever stay away”. And with that, I am grateful for the marvelous chance I had to live in Australia for three months. But it’s over. And what great things are yet to come!
So, faithful reader, that’s it. Thanks for sharing in my great adventures this summer. Oh, how I have loved Australia. But I am ready to go home. I can’t wait for school and friends, to see my family and go hang out with my brother John in Austin! To go to D.C. and see people I haven’t seen in years! To again have such things as a cell phone, hair straightener, car, microwave and dishwasher in my life! But for now, I get to see my mom and go the Great Barrier Reef with her. It’s gonna be awesome.
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